Travel

Reference to the Past

 

Old family photographs hold great significance because memories are unique to everyone. The quality, scene, pose, and emotions depicted in a photograph prompt the viewer to imagine a different time and place. 

 

Reference to the Past began as an exploration of my connection to my father’s family in New Mexico and Arizona and our Navajo culture. As a child, I was drawn to this culture because there was an allure to this enigmatic identity that I wanted for myself. Unwittingly, I ignored my mother’s family’s Japanese culture. Even though I was surrounded by members of my mother’s side while growing up, I took for granted those who connected me closely to Japan. This project bridges the “generation gap” between identifying with a family I never met on my dad’s side and the family I grew up with on my mother’s side. In the process of making this series, I’ve come to embrace my mother’s Japanese culture and my grandparent’s way of life in their transition from living in Fukuoka, Japan to coming to San Francisco, California.

 

Searching photographs for clues about my family–especially about Dad’s side–I was inspired to create moments of “coincidence” when our lives resemble one another. Performing for the camera is a little like time travel–referencing in subtle or overt ways of fleeting moments in the lives of my family. 

 

Immersing myself in my family’s cultures highlights expectations of gender roles within those two patriarchal systems. With the close connection to my Japanese side through my mother and grandmother, my family has passed down clothing and traditions coinciding with my gender. Yet, my father’s influence released me from feminine gender expectations. When my dad reminisced on his childhood, he would create scenarios with me in his place. He would say that his dad and grandpa would make me go hunting with them and contribute to the laborious chores if I were there. He expected me to act as he would, because through his eyes this would make me “tough like a man”. 

 

During this exploration of self, I’ve realized that I am a bridge.